When we’re in a relationship, the subtle things we do and say can have a big impact – for better or worse. If we want to stop making someone feel insecure in a relationship we first need to take an honest look at our behavior.
While it’s true that feeling confident and secure has to come from within, it’s also true that we can unintentionally cause our partner to feel insecure when we are careless with our words or actions.
Understanding how to avoid triggering insecurities in our relationship can help us build a stronger foundation for happiness
What Causes Insecurities In Relationships?
To say exactly what causes insecurity in a relationship is impossible because everyone’s experience is different. There are, however, some common things that often factor into causing relationship insecurities.
Behaviors that can cause insecurity in a relationship include:
- Expressing an attraction to someone else
- Keeping our partner from meeting our close friends or family
- Being secretive about where we are, who we’re with or what we’re doing
- Using careless or hurtful comments about our partner’s appearance, intelligence or personality
If we find ourselves doing any of these things and we’re looking for ways to stop making someone feel insecure in a relationship – our first step is easy – STOP doing these things.
They don’t help the situation and really, they’re just not nice things to do anyway.
Of course, it’s possible that we’re dating someone who is insecure for reasons that have nothing to do with us. Dealing with relationship insecurity is challenging no matter where it stems from. The good news is, relationships with insecure people can still be successful, but they do require extra effort from both partners.
Ways to Stop Making Someone Feel Insecure in a Relationship
These 5 ways to stop making someone feel insecure in a relationship are actually good advice for building a healthy relationship in general but are particularly important if we’re making our partner feel insecure. Regardless of where our relationship insecurities stem from, practicing these tips can help.
- Be Honest & Trustworthy
Relationship insecurity is often caused when we give our partner a reason not to trust us. Lying, cheating, or keeping secrets can cause unfixable damage to our relationship. We should always be honest with our partner – and ourselves. If we find that we are keeping secrets from our partner it’s time to ask ourselves if we’re in the right relationship. Being honest and trustworthy should be easy if we’re in a healthy, loving relationship.
- Communicate Openly
Keeping the lines of communication open for our partner to share their insecurities and fears can help them become more confident and reassured. Good communication involves a lot of listening as well as an openness to exploring the things that make us feel most vulnerable. Sharing these feelings can strengthen our partnership and ease relationship insecurities
- Give Compliments
Everyone loves to hear something nice about themselves. If our partner is feeling insecure, it’s especially important to help them build their confidence by reminding them how wonderful we think they are. Let them know they’re beautiful, smart, funny – amazing. Finding ways to give our partner compliments can really make their day – but it also feels good to remind ourselves what we love about them.
- Show Gratitude
Getting into the habit of showing our appreciation and expressing thanks for the things our partner does will help them feel more secure in the relationship. Often, the longer we’ve been in a relationship, the more we get used to our partner doing things for us and we start to take for granted what we once were so grateful for. Whether it’s doing our laundry or cooking our favorite meal, we should make an effort to tell our partner we appreciate all they do.
- Go for a Walk
Ok, it doesn’t have to be a walk and forgive me if it seems out of context. Exercise has been shown to be a highly effective way to improve self-confidence. Exercise not only helps us feel better about our appearance, it also changes our body chemistry and literally makes us feel good from the inside out. It boosts endorphins and reduces stress and anxiety. Getting regular exercise with our partner can help us energize our relationship and overcome insecurities.
You Can Stop Relationship Insecurity
If our relationship is in danger but we know it’s worth saving, we should be willing to do the work necessary to save it. And there’s a silver lining to going through the challenge of solving relationship insecurity with our partner – in the end, it can create an even deeper, more meaningful connection.
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Dhar Mann shares helpful life and relationship tips through his blog posts and videos, which have been shared on social media millions of times. Subscribe to Dhar Manns YouTube channel or follow him on Facebook to stay connected.
12 Comments for "5 Ways to Stop Making Someone Feel Insecure In a Relationship"
Affirmation is huge in any relationship. We all have certain insecurities, some we ourselves are often unaware of. My first marriage was extremely unhealthy. It became toxic on both sides. When that marriage came to end it was hard to find the good that had come from it. We as people do need to be able to create happiness from within but it is also very possible for 2 people to destroy one another. Sadly we did not just hurt each other, we also had 3 son’s together. It has been 8 years now. Our son’s are much better today but there are still residule pains they discuss openly with me. Their father, who feels very responsible for a lot of the hurt is not so open to talking about it with them. Our youngest still spends a lot of time with him, but our older boys, who are identical twins, age 16, barley see him. I continue to encourage them to try talking to him but they are very much walking their own path right now. They mostly harbour anger for the part of the past that involved their dad moving in with the women he was originally unfaithful with. They wanted a choice and he made them live there with her and her children before our divorce was even final. He feels awful about his past choices. The hurt was bigger for them, then he realized. She (the women he left me to be with) was often unkind to the older boys. During that time their image of their father changed and what they saw broke their hearts. I pray some day they can forgive him, the way they so easily forgave me. They said once that it was very painful to feel this dissapoinmwnt when they looked at him, they were 9. They wanted so much to look at their dad as a hero but instead they saw all of these flaws and they didn’t know what to do with that. Over the years they have struggled with what kind of man they want to be and what kind of man they think they are capable of being. They want to be happy and healthy but facing those hurts head on has been difficult. I am now remarried and they have a wonderful relationship with their stepdad. They talk with him about a lot and their needs are met through that healthy relationship. But… that hurt just sits with them. I know through time and the healing power of love and understanding they will be okay. I have found a few videos that hit home with all of that. Thank you for adding grace and kindness to the world. Peace and blessings, blessed be???
This blog is so true! Explains so many issues I experienced in my last relationship. Probably the reason why I have avoided one now seven years.
Love all your posts, videos, blogs! Such reality.
Valentine’s Contest Answers:
Who: My 2 sons
As an only parent, I’ve solely focused on them since their father left 7 years ago.
What: An action packed weekend getaway-history, museums, trampoline park, indoor basketball, swimming, ice skating…
Why: I couldn’t imagine a Valentine’s Day ♥️ without them… Although I know as they get older, it’s inevitable. We haven’t had a vacation in 2 years.
I love your blog. Being true to a product or brand that you promote is key to being believable.
Great advice. My husband and I have been married 3 years now, and I can honestly say everyday my husband tells me how beautiful I am, how lucky he is and that he loves me. I don’t say this to gloat, but I do feel it’s important to show your significant other you see them, you care and you appreciate them. I give my husband simple compliments daily, I love your hairs today, that color looks great on you, you did a great job on this etc. I also make sure he knows I appreciate everything he does for us as a family.
My husband and my 19 month old son! I would buy us a couple of pizzas and of course some chocolate cake. The rest of the money I will spend on a careseat, stroller and basic necessities for our baby one the way. We are so blessed and excited that we are pregnant we found out 2-10-19 and due 10-19-19 ♥️, the only way our valentines could get better is this amazing opportunity to win, and relieve some of the financial worries. In regards to Dhar’s article, I follow many influencers and one thing I see a lot is the endorsement of products once and never again, and like he mentioned this goes along with doing it just for the money as well, as someone who looks up to influencers for insight, it’s frustrating to place our trust in an influencer and spend our hard earned money on products that are promoted and then they never use them again. Dhar & Laura, you’re a beautiful and inspiring couple and I wish you many blessings. Thank you both for this opportunity.
This is my entry for the Dhar & Laura giveaway. Thankyou for the opportunity! ?
My mom would be my date. For the past two years, I’ve been sick, and forced to undergo a lot of tests, and they only now found the problem. She’s been my number one supporter through it all: Caring for me when I was so sick I couldn’t get up, making foods that worked with the strict diets the doctors put me on, providing moral support. She deserves to be treated to a fancy dinner and shopping spree because she is a super hero to me. I’d love to be able to give her a special Valentine’s day to give a little back to her for everything she has done for me. ?
My favorite tip from your article is about being authentic and choosing a partnership that best represents you and what you do.
Hi you guys! Thankyou for doing this generous giveaway, I have so much respect for you guys for giving back, especially when you go out and prepare food for the homeless, you guys are awesome. For the vacation giveaway I would like to nominate my mom. We are here in California. Ever since i could remember, my mom has been my rock. She raised me and my brother all by herself. She would find work cleaning houses, laundrymats, selling food, finding any type of way to keep a roof over our head and keeping food on the table. She made sure we had clean and when possible new clothes, while she shopped at second hand stores for herself. Me and my brother began working at 15 in fast food to help her and now i am thankful to god that we are able to show our appreciation for everything she did for us by taking care of her. I dont know where she would like to go, but i can say this..she loves the water and is the most grateful person i know, and she would be eternally grateful to you guys for gifting her a trip. (Thanks again you two, love u)
Ps. Dhar i think your buzzfeed article was on point. My favorite advice you gave for influencers starting out is to stick to one area of expertise. I say that because theres lots of pages out there that have too much content of different subjects and it definitely will lose a viewers interest if they came on to your page looking for one subject that caught their attention and they get a load of bunch of unrelated content. So great advice!
I would LOVE to take my boyfriend on our dream trip to Canada. He talks about going to Canada literally every single day. My boyfriend is one of the best people on this planet. I don’t know where i would be without him. Since we were sophomores in high school I lived with him because my family was having a lot of money issues and had to move into a one bedroom hotel with my mom, step dad, brother and sister. so there was obviously no room for me. Throughout all I was going through at the time with my family’s money problems, my boyfriend was MY ROCK. I couldn’t possibly ask for someone more loving and supportive. even though we were only 15 him and his family took me in. ever since he has given me everything I could ever want. We are now 21 and are juniors in college! We are definitely broke college students. We were already saving literally every penny to try to go to canada the second week of march, but my car broke down and had to use what we saved to fix it. He supports me so much with everything I do, emotionally and financially. I would love to be able to give something to him for once. who knows where i would be without him. If i could just do ONE thing for him, I would be so greatful. I love yalls relationship, it is definitely one to look up too. y’all are literally the ultimate goals. Even if I don’t win i’m greatful for the opportunity!! Love y’all!!
my favorite tip from Dhar is ENGAGE with your followers! y’all do so much to engage with your supporters and trust me everyone appreciates it!!
(we are from fort worth texas!)
Hi! I’m from NY and I like to go to Cali with my bf! We’re in a long distance relationship and haven’t seen each other in months since we are both busy med students. We’ve missed spending our anniversary and birthdays together and this trip would mean a lot to us.
Hello my name is Amber and I live in Apple Valley California. For this trip I would take my husband and we would want to go to Hawaii. We really love the beach and have never gone there. This would be important to us because we never had a honeymoon and would like to go somewhere alone to spend quality time with each other. We also work opposite schedules and a little time off together would be great.
My favorite tip from the buzzfeed article is to commit to a consistent schedule.
Hello Dhar & Laura!?❤️ I live in Glendale and although my dream vacation would be Greece ?? I would have to say a reasonable destination would be Alaska. My husband and I never went on a honeymoon due to work and health related issues. He felt bad about it and told me that wen though we hadn’t gone on a honeymoon that we would go on small trips in the future and call them manymoon trips lol. We have been together 14 years and married 4 of those years. The last four have been challenging in both health and Finances and we have yet to go on a honeymoon or start our plans for the manymoon trips. With the $1000 we would be able to kickstart our manymoom trips (won’t be enough for a dream trip, but it’s more than enough for a small getaway). Also, I would favorite trip you guys went to would be Mykonos ??. Thank you to the both of you for this great giveaway. ???
Carrying most of the work load for both people without sharing at least half of it and working long hours to ensure that he has everything he needs can make her feel pretty insecure.
I would love to go to Maldives with my boyfriend!
Honesty and gratitude would be two of the big ones for me. You want to trust your partner, so honesty is a must. And gratitude lets you know they appreciate you (and keeps you from looking elsewhere for that feeling!).